take a look around you.
there is everything that you wanted.
there is everything that you've seen.
and all that you've visualised.
is the madness inside of me.
you are to be blamed for all that I've been.
all thats what inside of me.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
10:51 PM
today is the last paper. alhamdulillah. segala keseksaan menguji minda dengan penuh tekanan stress sudah reda kerana puncanya sudah tiada lagi. akhirnya doa ku suda dikabulkan. x)) hahas. merepek sak fizah. lit was kinda tough though. oh well,i did my best i think?
saddened by sad faces surrounding me. sofeeyah was sad,something happened. omg,i couldnt concentrate doing lit exam. was guessing WTH happened. get to know the whole story after school. i prefer to disclose it here. nevermind. cheer up alright? i know its a typical saying. but what can do? thats the way i express it with full of meaning and concern in it. seriously. doesnt need to say in awesome english like anis to impress you right? xD EHH. did you just smile while reading? CEY.
after school went to CP with aufa,arif,nad and BG. woohoo! on the way saw anis and deborah. the lalings. help arif buy EHEM. a couple,the guy was ex sengkang with his GF. hahas. they are damn nice. then after that do their usual stuff and go walk around CP buy game for PSP. they went home first,slack with aufa and nad. funny sial. cant stop laughing. its been a long time i never laugh that way. =)) thanks! you rawk!
slack at condominium crner,eat eat. play true n dare. ask nad to ask for the guy no. N she really do. we licked wall. i was asked to tell the CHIJ girls throw my rubbish. LOL. then went walk around cp. slack at library. buy sweet. alotta stuff happen. just darn hilarious this day.
to shorten the story, we were at library. nad was talking to herself. want to know what was the matter. i asked "apsl?" nad: "die nangis?" me: "die nangis??" nad: "uh uh" me: "..asl die nangis?" nad: "psl die hrtbrken." me: "asl die hrtbrkn?" nad: "psl die nangis." it goes on and on. hahas. bods. finally get to know her ex wants patch up then aufa say, " ex dier nangis psl hrtbrkn mintk nad patch up." HAHAHA.. then walk walk walk walk.. go aufa house at lst. we played slide before that. ahas. childish sial. but FUN + NY!
enough of that. focus on my darling ahmad. umm,im sorry you guys. i break my promise. i did smoke today. i was out of conrtol i felt guilty. i did promise ahmad too. then too embarassed to let him know and dont want him to be disappointed. at last,i told him. the guilty was just killing me. couldnt stand it. he say it was okay. he undertstood. he wasnt angry. he will support me all the way. *melts* i cried. OMG. was touched. okay. i aint EMO just feeling2.
wanna end here. bubyes. scared laptop shud dwn.
Friday, October 06, 2006
9:04 PM
long time never blog due to buisness of personal life routine. between,exam is here. studying. guess what. the day 041006 is officially the day i quit huffy. without the love from others, i cant possibly have the courage choosing to end that habit of mine. thank you! for the guy who used to say i always follow the crowd. look at yourself now. maths test was okay. miss low having high hopes for me. yesterday stayed back just to have last minute tuition. and im so going to be dead. stress up because of exams. not only that. now,my brother is going get me in deep shit. so called hanuram's mother sms me around 8+ yesterday night. "hi im hanuram's mother. do you have any idea where is he?" my hp was with him,lending it to him. unexpected,he read the message. like okay. he suspected something was a miss. which parent would msg rather then call if they care for their children? he knew my relationships all. UGH! he called to make sure that is the mother and not a prank. after the call,he told me firstly that person say he was hanuram and is speaking. when he asked whether he knew me,he suddenly say he was hanuram's mother. asking whether if im with HIM or not. like duhh. NO. who wants to anyway?! okay. i dont know WTF going on. just irritated,i so do not want have anything to do with HIM anymore. since when did his mom get my no.?! this is the first time,hoping to be the last. my brother still not happy. he hates people prank about giving people serious shiting worries. he want to see HIM. and die2, i must talk things round,to bring HIM seeing my brother. wants to talk things over. whether true or not. if not,he will call that HP no. himself. and once he knows the truth but only the truth, his happy or mayb not. unsastified,i will get it too. want pauto me tell my parents i got relationships going on. he just cant tolerate this nonscence. if my sister comes to get to know this,i dont know... UGH! irritated. today simply in no mood. now i just dont give a fcuk about anything anymore. dont know what to do. as days passed. im beginning to hate everyone. totally! because why? because of that one guy,every part of my world is covered with the word,HATE! but my love wont ever be less to my loved ones.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
2:09 PM
yesterday was totally horrible. cant stop remembering it. LOLS. went to CP with nadirah after english exam to buy something but then must wait for kakak first. went to her work place,observe every movement of hers. x)) dont want to disturb her working,so stood there and wait. then suddenly she said, ''ape ngok2?'' while smiling. xD cute arh she. ask her a favour but must wait until 2. okay,then i and nad walk around CP. went to value$ shop saw this primary school kids,boys. all malays which step but kental with their weirdo jambuls. x)) they look at me,i look at them back. then after walking out of that place,they turn back and look at me again. like some bunch of jakuns. hah. want to curse,but cant. fasting. so all the nonscence stuff playing inside my head. - pe nie step? aku pn bleh lar dey. aku step at ur jambuls. klao ngok, senyum tkp tap jgn senyum kambing suda sampai nmpk gigi,jual kepe?tknk beli. tk maen. dek nie nk ngok org, uat tk tao. obvious sgt,aku ade empat mate okay. si hitam manis tu da tingi uat hal gala ar. kekeke... okay. then went to staircase in the middle of level 1 and 2. wait for kakak there. was sitting and talking to nadz. then this old chinese guy came. about 50+? yellowish teeth,no front tooth. sememek face. keep smiling all the way. mentally unstable. sure one. you will know why.. old guy: xiao mei.. us: (looking at him) old guy: (sit beside us) us: (full of sotongness) old guy: i working here as security. me: ouh kay. good ar. (smile away) old guy: i want go work now. i working as security. nads: then go work now uhs. old guy: bubye. us: bubye. old guy: bubye. i love u. (looking at me) me: LOL. i love u too. (laughing away) old guy: i want kiss. me: HA HA. he went away. soon enough,his back again.. old guy: hello! us: hi.. old guy: i want go ca-pi-tol. us: ??? okay. old guy: i be at ca-pi-tol. us: (silent) old guy: i love you. i syg u. (looking at me and smile) me: den u tk syg die? (pointing to nadz) old guy: due2 syg. syg due2. me: tk bleh due2. kene satu je. old guy: ok lar. syg u aje. me: abeh tk syg die? old guy: tknk larh. nk syg u. me: (LMAO) old guy: okay bubye. i want go ca-pi-tol. us: ?? okay. bubye! old guy: i want kis u. (looking at me) me: tk bole. (shocked and smile away) old guy: bubye.. (touch my peha which is uncovered after that did to nadz) old guy: bubye.. ( come to me and touch my leg again) OMG. both of us was shocked. cant expect to do anything. then quickly took water and wash off. HAHS. was very disgusted. eww- kakak ended up never came because she was busy. due to lack of stuff members. we have to use our old method then. hahs. lazy to type. lalalasx- ending here. wansuay. love E5 except him him him and him. x)) okay.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
3:52 PM
nowadays have no time to update. alot of things happen. miss the time pulling arif leg and drag him around. hahas. =X remembered the time when i lift up myra skirt,me and aufa saw her undies. LOLS. putting spaghetti sticks at ear holes. damn fun. yeah! no more pranks as exam is coming. and i am busy with my own life. gonna miss E5. confirm next year,everyone will be seperated. =(( what can do? that is what called life. but my love for them wont be less. sure one,i PROMISE. x)) my beloved darling ex,asked me out for dinner. his cca,rugby,was having dinner at pan pacific hotel. he say he wanted to bring me out. but i cant,went to nenek house instead. =(( *sobs* i told him bring someone else instead. he dont want. he only want to bring the one he love only. aww. touched. the dinner start at 7. didnt want to disturb. called him at 10.30pm which the time it ended. but no,there was a lucky draw. i told him, if he win the lucky draw,he get me. hahs. he didnt won it but someone else did. so i told him that guy will get me or i get him. he merajuk. alalala. my baby bucuk. teasing him was fun. nowadays,spending more time with ahmad. talking on the phone. his so sweet and gentle! hahas. no kidding. everytime im sarcastic towards him even though his not in the wrong. there's one thing he will always say. sorry. yesterday began talking on the phone with him from 10.30pm until 3.30am. was dozing off while we were talking. cant help that habit of mine. hehe. his sweet,too sweet. cant be describe. i did asked him this question. what if i have another BF? what will he do? how would he feel? will he move on? even i told him to? he say he will be happy for me as i have found the love of my life. he cant do anything. he will feel kind of sad, but nothing could be done. as long im happy,so he is. he wont move on,even i told him to. he will wait even how many years it will take. as his love is true,he would sacrifice anything just for me. he say im his first GF,so to him first love is eternity. wow. impressive. not bad for a guy younger then me. totally have the charms. got to find out he got stomach hair. wow! damn hot! woots- hahas. xD i wonder why he never say wrong stuff which could or would offend me. always find the right things to talk about. cant forget this. he once told me that he and his friend fight. caught his friend in the act of touching his girl. he punched him until he fell. woots- go AHMAD! hehe. and he say settle another day,one on one because his girl was there. aww. so sweet! then his friend called up budak baju. about 40+. he was shocked. saw them carry parangs. supposing to be one on one. his friend kotek kecik. thats why call people. hahs. he called up his cousin. brought 50 back-up. awesome! and one omega guy. his cousin 'orang besar'. fierce uh. then.. he dont want tell me. grr! hahas. never the mind. he want to forget about it. so i dont want to remind him. lalalasx- im crazy for him.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
8:58 PM
cant type anyhow. im afraid,afraid of being sued.what if i go jail? you guys wont see me. and i know how much it will hurt you guys. LOLS. please lah hors. die2 u guys wont mis me. wa lao. n i wont mis u too orh. remmb dat nia. dream on. hahas. im writing craps. wait for awhile,dont change the website. just trying to release my frustration.
today was a very sway day somehow. quarrel and be angry with others. i just dont get myself. okay,MC. im sorry. but you know,you cant force a person to pay just because you want print for them. cant you just send to them the picture? i know its your camera. let them have what they want.
really no mood for today. was damn EMO. ugh! fuck the emo in me. was taking care of the bags outside AVA roomuntil 2.30,alone. thinking back about my mum letting her down as exam is coming, having the sense of failure in doing it. not much confidence.
i was so looking forward in SC extra class to buck up my studies. there's where the fairytale begins. 2N7 was damn noisy class. there were chinese and indians. so far,saw no malays. mdm yeo was explaining. couldn't really concentrate and heard what she was saying. asked that girl who has the loudest voice to shut up twice. still nothing happens. it was so fucking inconsiderate. and somemore,i have no energy to just give them face. WTF. alot of E5 peeps getting irritated. me too,mine was the highest level it could go. i throw my ring at her. it didnt hit her. somehow missed. she was shock. i asked her to shut up then two indian guys get involved to myconversation anyhow,KPOing. never did i ask them to get involved.t hey are just extras.
go hell uh,stupid. asking me to shut up because now im the one who is talking. another guy was smiling. it wasnt funny. i told him what smile2?! he say he not smiling at me. wow. what a pathetic lame reply. dont want to die early and no energy,i keep my temper for awhile. controlling. ding jie and charmaine ask me to walk out of class. xD
asking someone else to get my ring back. then the indian guy say,go let her get the ring back. she the one who throw what.then i heard them say to valerie,to open her bag because they threw my ring there. telling her that the bangla(me) threw at their friend. asking them not to touch it as it will lead to death. .. bla.. bla.. that was so over the board. and why the hell they threw it with touching it if it leads to death?! stupid like to the max. a waste of time to give a fuck bout them. okay. and they no need be such a bustard! how i wish i could lay my hand on thembut too bad, its fasting month. whatever it is,valerie couldnt find the ring.
in the first place,they dont need to be such an asshole. after ending the SC class,they complained at mdm yeo. kentalans. you think i care?HAH. *meow* scared right? that's why want complain only. you think i care? well,its a fucking NO of cause. like DUHH. xP whatever it is,im ending this story here.
P.S- they couldnt find the ring because the ring is cursed. my friend gave it to me as a special gift. the use is to throw at someone who makes me damn angry like never before. it will disappeared in matter of time before they would notice. it will follow them back and make some distiurbance in their life. there's no peace. only reality full of hauntings. i cant turn the spell back,sorry it was your fault. so please,be nice to me and others,and i will be very nice to you.
Friday, September 22, 2006
6:19 PM
yesterday my mummy bought me a new hp. like wow. all of a sudden withoutme knowing. what a surprise. umm,shock. *gasp* okay. thats so totally fake. hahs. today today today, gary and jian hao noisy as normal. but cute too. hahas. not forgetting funny. PE lesson,only the both of us, rachel and me have our privacy dating okay. so guys dont be jealous. LOLS. doing our own work actually. then hilarious us,filled with laughter. hahs. didnt spend that much time with my PPG. x(( never the mind. got MT oral,gonna fail like YEAH. supposed to see miss low,ended up she got meeting. like whatever. you think i care? sorry lahs. maker of dialogue from that gongtoot. xD saw a sec 1 boy being bashed up. =x so pitiful. aww. but the scary thing was he bang his head at the wall. stupid or what? his face already has a big lump. hais. people nowadays. acting big. spare me the pathetic nonscence. go CP with charmaine and brenda. woots. fun fun fun. =)) was being sarcastic. with them. that cikopek squash my boobies. GRR. xD later flat how? nevermind. can become same gang as mc. the flatties. hahas. ending this post with goodbyes and a loving internet kiss to my beloved PPG because i miss them so the very much. *muuarrckksss* !! (with salivas on your screen,to show how sweet i could be) x))
Thursday, September 21, 2006
3:04 PM
yesterday. what really happen in school? i cant remember. im suffering from serious STM. hahasx.
well,after school went out with nadz to see kakak. hell fun yeahs? she is so freaking kecoh. talking non stop. she rawks! x)) damn cute lil' girl. xD left her for awhile, me and nadz were talking about 'cushion'. LOLS. =x SHH.
today. E-learning Day. really hate it. kiwak lu peh kucing pondan ar. angry sia. alot of problems occured. damn! i wish to slap the person who came up with this in the first place. UGH. talk to sofeeyah and afiqah. thanks to them,my steaming (not that okay) level is average. HAHS. xD i and sofeeyah did something bad for home econs. =x naughty sofeeyah. hahas.
want to end here. in no mood. ended up not doing english. damn. whatever okay. boplek kecik. lols.
to my mr. right ;
Baby I love you, You are my life. My happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side. You're my relation, in connection to the sun With you next to me there's no darkness I can't overcome. You are my raindrop. I am the seed. With you and God, who's my sunlight, I bloom and grow so beautifully. Baby, I'm so proud. So proud to be your girl. You make the confusion, go all away, from this cold and mixed up world.
I am in love with you. You set me free. I can't do this thing, called life without you here with me. Cause I'm Dangerously In Love with you. I'll never leave. Just keep loving me, the way I love you loving me.
And I know you love me, love me for who I am. Cause years before I became who I am, baby you were my man. I know it ain't easy, easy loving me. I appreciate the love and dedication from you to me.
Thought of all my love for you sometimes make me wanna cry. Realize all my blessings, I'm grateful to have you by my side.
Every time I see your face, my heart smiles. Every time it feels so good, it hurts sometimes. Created in this world, to love and to hold, to feel, to breathe, to love you. <3
